It's a Sunday afternoon at around 12.45pm. I'm tuned into ITV for my fortnightly fix of watching a high-end processional convoy. This week it's at Magny-Cours, in France - Ferrari are looking dominant after locking down the front row in qualifying, and Lewis Hamilton is set for a tiresome afternoon carving through the field from 13th after his cock-up last time out in Canada.
The well-informed Martin Brundle is having his usual pre-race discussions with fellow commentator James Allen about Hamilton's prospects of a reasonable points finish, as he utters the phrase, "It's going to be difficult for Lewis today - Magny Cours isn't a great circuit for overtaking, so he's got his work cut out", a frankly baffling statement before an event where such practice has been traditionally customary.
I think to myself - if it's not a great circuit for overtaking, why the hell is Bernie Ecclestone bringing the world's premier racing championship here? It's not an uncommon phrase to hear these days, either. At Monaco, "Qualifying well is so important here because overtaking's so difficult"; at Turkey, "Cars struggle to overtake here because they're constantly travelling in dirty air". Am I missing something? Is overtaking still even allowed?
I maintain that the underlying principle of racing, be it on a horse, in a car, on feet, is to race. What's the point in going to circuits where drivers can't do that? Where's the fun in watching a race being won by putting in a couple of fast laps on low fuel and then letting some Kwik-Fit fitters-cum-Storm Trooper look-a-likes do their business to get you out in front of your nearest rival without even exchanging a friendly glance with him?
I've heard people argue that it's interesting seeing strategies play out, but this, to me, is beyond comprhension. How is it interesting watching Ross Brawn assess where a car is on a track and calculate on his computer when to pit his driver? I would much rather see Lewis Hamilton and Kimi Raikonen be toe-to-toe, exchanging paintwork with each other and seeing sparks fly - it is truly infuriating.
The worst example has to be Monaco. So difficult is it to pass around the circuit, that it has merely a virtual procession of pomp and excess in one of the world's most glamorous venues - a place to be seen, rather than a place to race. The spectacle is something to behold, undoubtedly, but the racing is pointless. You might as well go to Knightsbridge or Chelsea and watch the city bankers waft past in their Aston Martins or Ferraris.
I'm sure that the circuits don't account for the complete lack of action in Formula One. The cars are so aerodynamically tuned that any time one car follows another, it wrecks the flow of air over the car behind and therefore means that the following driver can't get anywhere near the other. You shan't get teams to take a step back technologically - Formula One has simply become a very fast moving advert of what a car company can achieve when it puts its mind to it. It's brand exposure, the best of the best and a true showcase. But that makes for awful racing, when racing is why every single fan turns up at circuits, or tunes on their TVs to watch the damn thing.
Why can't anyone see that Formula One, as it is, is boring. They might go at 200mph, but if they're not overtaking and challenging each other, they might as well be going at 60. Can't someone put every driver in a car that can travel behind another, that doesn't have to change it's tyres and refuel in a race at a circuit where they can overtake? It doesn't sound like too hard a blueprint to follow, surely.
The well-informed Martin Brundle is having his usual pre-race discussions with fellow commentator James Allen about Hamilton's prospects of a reasonable points finish, as he utters the phrase, "It's going to be difficult for Lewis today - Magny Cours isn't a great circuit for overtaking, so he's got his work cut out", a frankly baffling statement before an event where such practice has been traditionally customary.
I think to myself - if it's not a great circuit for overtaking, why the hell is Bernie Ecclestone bringing the world's premier racing championship here? It's not an uncommon phrase to hear these days, either. At Monaco, "Qualifying well is so important here because overtaking's so difficult"; at Turkey, "Cars struggle to overtake here because they're constantly travelling in dirty air". Am I missing something? Is overtaking still even allowed?
I maintain that the underlying principle of racing, be it on a horse, in a car, on feet, is to race. What's the point in going to circuits where drivers can't do that? Where's the fun in watching a race being won by putting in a couple of fast laps on low fuel and then letting some Kwik-Fit fitters-cum-Storm Trooper look-a-likes do their business to get you out in front of your nearest rival without even exchanging a friendly glance with him?
I've heard people argue that it's interesting seeing strategies play out, but this, to me, is beyond comprhension. How is it interesting watching Ross Brawn assess where a car is on a track and calculate on his computer when to pit his driver? I would much rather see Lewis Hamilton and Kimi Raikonen be toe-to-toe, exchanging paintwork with each other and seeing sparks fly - it is truly infuriating.
The worst example has to be Monaco. So difficult is it to pass around the circuit, that it has merely a virtual procession of pomp and excess in one of the world's most glamorous venues - a place to be seen, rather than a place to race. The spectacle is something to behold, undoubtedly, but the racing is pointless. You might as well go to Knightsbridge or Chelsea and watch the city bankers waft past in their Aston Martins or Ferraris.
I'm sure that the circuits don't account for the complete lack of action in Formula One. The cars are so aerodynamically tuned that any time one car follows another, it wrecks the flow of air over the car behind and therefore means that the following driver can't get anywhere near the other. You shan't get teams to take a step back technologically - Formula One has simply become a very fast moving advert of what a car company can achieve when it puts its mind to it. It's brand exposure, the best of the best and a true showcase. But that makes for awful racing, when racing is why every single fan turns up at circuits, or tunes on their TVs to watch the damn thing.
Why can't anyone see that Formula One, as it is, is boring. They might go at 200mph, but if they're not overtaking and challenging each other, they might as well be going at 60. Can't someone put every driver in a car that can travel behind another, that doesn't have to change it's tyres and refuel in a race at a circuit where they can overtake? It doesn't sound like too hard a blueprint to follow, surely.
If not, I'm off to sit outside Harrods in a fortnight to see a Lamborghini burn up a Bentley at a set of traffic lights - it'd be far more exciting.
This is how it should be done - perhaps one of the most memorable overtaking moves, for me at least.
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